Subject: INTERCEPTOR
INTERCEPTOR made me realize what a pathetic amateur I am. I have not yet gotten around to outlining the ideal Prochnow film, but if I had done it, all my ideas would have been pitiful compared to the ones the makers of INTERCEPTOR came up with, to wit:
Put an earring on Jürgen.
Show the earring on the opposite ear in at least one scene. I swear I spent half the movie trying to determine whether he was, in fact, wearing a pair, or just one. It was only one - one at a time, anyway. I don't think this was a continuity error, however. I think they did it on purpose to distract you from wondering why the hell U.S. Air Force pilots on two different planes are taking suspicious orders over the radio from an unidentified man with a German accent. In my case, it didn't distract me quite that much.
Make him a fighter pilot. NICE touch.
(My personal favorite) include a scene in which he handles a snake. See, I wouldn't have thought of that in a gazillion years - and yet it's so obvious. That man is so well set off by a snake that you'd think he'd have had it put in his contract for every role he's ever played. "Must handle snake in at least one scene, snake preferably to be color-coordinated with shirt." I just know there's a poster out there somewhere. And I must have it.
For you nit-pickers who are planning to ask how a fighter pilot gets away with wearing an earring, he wasn't in the military. Ex-, apparently. The script didn't explain who he was or where he came from or what his agenda consisted of. He did say at one point that he wasn't working for anybody else... so what, exactly, he thought he was going to do with those two U.S. stealth fighters if he'd been successful in stealing them remains a mystery. He probably just wanted to take the snake for a ride.
[Though this isn't the funnest bad movie Prochnow's ever been in, it's really my favorite of the bad ones, partly because they were trying so hard to make a good movie here. In fact, this one appears to get pretty high ratings from the critics - at least my video guide gives it three and a half stars. It does have good performances and high production values going for it, and it's fun from beginning to end. The big problem is that you just can't believe anything that happens in it. The dialog is of very poor quality, and even the cliches are handled with unintentional comedy... f'rinstance, Prochnow unknowingly stepping on Divoff's fingers - ALL of them - while Divoff hangs from the grate underneath, and standing there for such an awfully long time.
We liked Elizabeth Morehead and thought she was the best thing in this movie. She was certainly the most believable thing in this movie. The character ain't no "Ripley" - she's not running around flourishing machine guns and knocking out the bad guys all by herself. But she had brains and courage, and she didn't just sit around waiting for the men to save her. She did her share. Although we thought she was too young to be a Major, as the ranking officer on board Morehead made a wonderful authority figure. We could believe those guys respected and looked up to her...and we want to see her in more movies. With Jürgen and Ingeborga. -ed.]