THE PING PAGE

THE PINGS

Hear the ocean filled with pings--
Sonar pings!
What a tale of terror, now, their palpitation brings!
It is singing, singing, singing
thru the bulkheads of the boat.
And the sailors' heads are ringing,
while salamis start their swinging
as destroyers o'erhead float.
Keeping time, time, time,
like this facile doggerel rhyme,
to the rin-tinabulation of its dreadful echoing
of the pings, pings, pings, pings,
Pings, Pings, PINGS,
from the irritating dinging of the pings!

---

Do You Hear The Sonar Ping?

Crew:
Do you hear the sonar ping?
Finding the location of the sub!

Captain:
It is the high-pitched ping
Of the British scum at sea
(Whose pinging isn't dubbed!)

Crew:
We will make it after all!
Our fears are probably moot!
We are the finest crew
Under the Captain of Das Boot!

---

A Ballad For Chris Roberts
(sung to the tune of "Food, Glorious Food"
from the musical OLIVER!)

Pings, glorious pings
I'm anxious to try them
My heroes have wings
And don't have to dry them

My ships are in outer space
Ships bigger and better
U-boats are okay, I guess
But they're wetter

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, pings!
You know you adore it
There's no sound in space
But we'll just ignore it

My version is better, so
My version's official
My version is new and more
Artificial

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, pings!
Don't you feel a rush now?
They've moved overhead
So all of you hush now

Just thinking of Jürgen in
Sub-gravity zero
At last he will get to be
A real hero

Oooooooooooooooooh, pings!
This one is a shocker
My heroes can't end
In Davy Jones' locker

You know what I have in store
If you saw the movie
Please, sir, can i have some more?
It's so groovy

If you missed the '81
Where everyone sings
Get PINGS!
Here are some PINGS!
Gimme some PINGS!
Nerve-wracking PINGS!
I...love...dem...piiiiiiings.

 

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